Recently I coached a woman who had a nagging voice in her head that criticized her for her handling of her life, but rarely/never acknowledged her for positive actions she took. As the youngest in her family, this was a familiar but unwanted phenomenon. (In psychosynthesis, this nagging voice is usually identified as the “critic” or the “judge” subpersonality.)
This woman wanted to learn to be in the moment more, without worrying so much about the future or things she couldn’t control. And she really wanted to shut this voice down.
I asked her what the best way for her to do this was.
“Talk back to it,” she said, “tell it I’m handling things just fine, or that I’m working on it, I don’t have a crystal ball about the future.”
Talking back to the voice was a new idea for her.
“Everyone has their day in court,” she said. “It just didn’t occur to me before that I had a right to talk back.”
At times, everyone has voices inside their heads that discourage, slow down, or stop them. They can be insidious, because there’s usually an element (sometimes a very, very small element) of truth in them.
(There’s probably always a way of handling something better. But even if you know there’s a better way, there’s probably a good reason why you’re not doing it that way. So give yourself a break.)
If you find yourself in some kind of internal court with an unforgiving critic or judge voice in your head, remember that every defendant gets representation. Give yourself a day in court. Give yourself a voice. Talk back to that judge!
And may your pursue your path, giving yourself fair representation,