In Dan Siegel’s “Mindsight” he says, “Grief allows you to let go of something you lost only when you begin to accept what you now have in its place.”
Grief clings to us when we fixate on the hole in our lives.
Something or someone we were attached to is gone. We feel the deepest grief if we know the person, the thing, the relationship, or the job will never return.
Sometimes-eventually-there will be a replacement. Sometimes there never will be.
The void can feel like a completely empty space or like walking in place but never getting anywhere. It’s not easy to live in a void.
But sometimes that’s what life requires. We’re unable to see the past without sorrow for what we have lost.
And life moves on, whether we want it to or not.
Our very nature abhors a vacuum (or a void) by showing up in unlikely places.
I think of that whenever I see a tiny plant growing through concrete.
If you ever feel like your heart has been encased in concrete, remember that even concrete eventually cracks and decays. If you simply accept your grief, and accept living in the void for a bit eventually life will reassert itself. Your heart inevitably will push a tiny sprig of growth into the world.
It happens when you forget your grief for just a moment because you are distracted by a child’s smile, by sunlight reflecting off water, by the scent of soap, by a strain of melody.
This sprig of life tells you that letting go of grief is a process.
Grief will not be your endpoint. Grief will not cling to you forever.
May we pursue our paths, honoring our losses and our eventual rebirths,