The Spice Girls used to sing, “Tell me what you want, what you really, really want.”

If you want to find out what you or another really wants, here’s a question to find out what’s behind any goal.

“If you had that, what would you have?”

Repeat this question until the answers start to repeat themselves.

Here’s a sample of a client/coach interaction.

“What do you want?”

“To win the lottery.”

“And if you had that what would you have?”

“I could do what I wanted.”

“And if you could do what you wanted, what would you have?”

“I’d have the means to quit my job.”

“And if you were able to quit your job, what would you have?”

“I’d be able to study a subject I’m interested in and travel the world and not worry about money.”

“And if you were able to study a subject you’re interested in and travel the world and not worry about money, what would you have?”


“And if you had freedom what would you have?”

“I’d only do what I love to do.”

“And if you only did what you love to do, what would you have?”

“I’d feel free and more like myself.”

So the values for this person behind winning the lottery are freedom and authenticity.

As a coach, I would want to help this person find ways to express freedom and authenticity in their life (whether or not they ever win the lottery…)

So ask yourself whenever you have a goal, “And if I had that, what would I have?”

The core answer may be something you can achieve in many other ways than you currently think.

May we pursue our paths, honoring and acting on the values underneath our goals,

Best wishes,