Detachment has a bad rap.  It can mean either being objective-or being aloof.

In coaching, it means something much more positive.

A coach is supposed to be passionately concerned about a client being able to fulfill his or her agenda, and to be curious and interested about a client’s process.

However, a coach is also supposed to be compassionately detached over the outcomes for the client.

How can that be?

In short, a coach should not try to rescue clients based upon their fears about how a person’s ability or choices will affect the outcome.

Rescue attempts occur in several ways:

  • Making suggestions without being granted permission or by giving unasked for advice
  • Promoting the agenda we think a client should have
  • Avoiding challenging a client’s unhealthy pattern because we don’t believe they’re strong enough to face it

Even if you’re not a coach, one of the strongest ways to support a person is to practice compassionate detachment.  Love the person, but don’t nag, manipulate, coddle, or unnecessarily protect them.

May we pursue our paths-and allow others to pursue theirs-using compassionate detachment,

Best wishes,

Elizabeth