Detachment has a bad rap. It can mean either being objective-or being aloof.
In coaching, it means something much more positive.
A coach is supposed to be passionately concerned about a client being able to fulfill his or her agenda, and to be curious and interested about a client’s process.
However, a coach is also supposed to be compassionately detached over the outcomes for the client.
How can that be?
In short, a coach should not try to rescue clients based upon their fears about how a person’s ability or choices will affect the outcome.
Rescue attempts occur in several ways:
- Making suggestions without being granted permission or by giving unasked for advice
- Promoting the agenda we think a client should have
- Avoiding challenging a client’s unhealthy pattern because we don’t believe they’re strong enough to face it
Even if you’re not a coach, one of the strongest ways to support a person is to practice compassionate detachment. Love the person, but don’t nag, manipulate, coddle, or unnecessarily protect them.
May we pursue our paths-and allow others to pursue theirs-using compassionate detachment,