I’m going to be presenting my “Leadership Using Active Listening Skills” this week as a webinar to Energetic Women of the Midwest Energy Association.
Part of my talk focuses on the attitudes that undermine relationships: contempt, sarcasm, stonewalling, and defensiveness.
A psychologist named Gottman called these the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse” as they can end relationships.
However, his research also showed that relationships where these attitudes are (sometimes) present don’t have to end so long as the couple average five positive verbal and emotional expressions toward each other for every negative expression.
There’s a New York Times article this week covering new psychological research that backs this up (http://tinyurl.com/d342ukb), right down to the 5:1 positive to negative ratio.
Is there a relationship you’d like to improve? Are you willing to increase the positive feedback to that person in a genuine way?
Recently my husband told me he’d like me to acknowledge some of his efforts around the house with “You’re awesome!” So if he brings me tea while I’m working at my desk, I tell him “You’re awesome!” We laugh about it sometimes, as some of the things he does may seem relatively minor. But it really does lighten our mood!
Let me know what you find!
P.S. So far Justin is in the lead for getting new people to sign up for this newsletter. Remember, the person who gets the most new people to sign up in January wins a month of free coaching for them or someone they know. 🙂