Recently someone claimed he was too sensitive to learn ballroom dancing.
“But all the teachers are so nice,” I said. “They never criticize and are very encouraging.”
“I know,” he moaned. “It’s just me.”
In coaching, we call that “arguing for our limitations”. You don’t really want to characterize yourself as deficient in some way…because you’ll be right. You can and will be too whatever (insert your own adjective) about a situation.
But is that story making you happy? Is that how you really want to live your life?
We all tell ourselves stories about ourselves. Not all of them are positive (or true…)
It’s like putting ourselves into a box. And who wants to live in a box?
We don’t fit in boxes. It keeps us stuck. Which literally leaves us unable to move.
It’s no wonder that positive psychology is built around the idea of flow. Things that flow move continuously. Psychological flow means a person is fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and enjoyment in the process of the activity.
Now while that doesn’t mean this person has to learn to love ballroom dancing to be in flow. It just means that he needs to play with the idea that a) sensitivity is not a barrier to learning to dance and that b) over-sensitivity is optional.
May we pursue our paths, going for the flow,