A recent study in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology found that conflict resolution is easier for couples when they think of their relationship as a journey, vs. thinking about it as an expression of unity or soul mates or destiny.

 

Couples who think of their relationship as a journey tend to put more effort into their relationships, vs. expecting perfection and giving up when challenges arise.

 

Similar research with kids shows that kids who are praised for trying hard tend to do better over time, vs. kids who are praised for being smart. Kids who believe effort influences outcomes tend to be more resilient and take more risks.

 

The mind-set that relationships and situations and people are malleable, vs. fixed, affects adult performance as well. If you believe in a growth mind-set vs. simply having innate talents/intelligence, it helps you persevere through challenges.

 

The frame or metaphor you use for any situation has deep implications for how you experience and approach your life.

 

Consciously choose a frame that allows for yours and others’ movement.

 

May we pursue our paths, acting as if the active journey is more important than fixed ideas of a ‘destination’,

 

Best wishes,

 

Elizabeth